


Long Distance Relationships Succ Ass

by Mochamiii



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, First Meetings, Gay tingz, Harry Potter is a Good Boyfriend, Harry is a Little Shit, Hermione Granger is a Good Bro, James Potter & Lily Evans Potter are good parents ™, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, No character bashing here no siree, Only to Harry tho, Tom Riddle is a Sweetheart, Tom's whipped, Twitter, Twitter AU, happy pride month y'all, ron weasley is a good bro
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-05-01 19:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19184146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mochamiii/pseuds/Mochamiii
Summary: Harry Pooter @scarheadDamn, kinda want a big dick up my ass rn 😞lHermione G. @mioneHARRY STOP BEING HORNY ON MAINlTom @riddlemethisI'm right here Harry :(llHermione G. @mioneI'm surrounded by horny idiots...Harry and Tom may be far apart but that's not stopping them from anything.OR:The Twitter/not Twitter au that nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A nice Twitter au because there's not enough of them 🗿
> 
>  
> 
> AKA: things I'm doing instead of writing safe is with us

**Harry Pooter** _@_ _scarhead_

IT'S PRIDE MONTH BITCHES TIME TO GET YOUR ASSES DOUCHED 🌈

**15 retweets 🔁 25 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**|**  
**Hermione** **G.** _@_ _mione_

HARRY WTF SJSJAOGKSFJS.

**retweet 🔁    like** ♥

* * *

  
**|**  
**|**  
**Hermoine** **G. owns my ass** _@_ _ronniekins_

Happy pride month mate ❤ you bisexual mess!

**retweet 🔁     like ♥**

* * *

  
**|**  
**|**  
**|**  
**Harry Pooter** _@_ _scarhead_

 _@_ _ronniekins_ ily hoe ❤

**retweet 🔁     like ♥**

* * *

  
**|**  
**|**  
**|**  
**|**  
**Hermoine** **G. owns my ass** _@_ _ronniekins_

 _@_ _scarhead_ 💞💗💛💗❤💙💛❤

**retweet 🔁     like ♥**

* * *

  
**|**  
**|**  
**|**  
**|**  
**|**  
**Longbottom** **? More like** **bigb** **...** _@_ _plantboi_

 _@_ _scarhead_ me and Luna are gonna get matching "we're here and queer" tattoos soon you wanna go with us????

**retweet 🔁      1 like ♥**

* * *

  
**|**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry Pooter** _@_ _scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@_** ** _plantboi_** _..._

YES I'M UP FOR IT LET'S GOOOOO

**retweet 🔁      like ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@_ _riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **scarhead**_ _..._

WAIT A MINUTE HARRY THINK THIS THROUGH

**retweet 🔁      5 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**

 **Harry Pooter** _@_ _scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **riddlemethis**_ _..._

But Tooooom I'm still young let me live a little :(

**retweet 🔁     like ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Hermoine** **G.** _@_ _mione_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **scarhead**_ _..._

Harry listen to your boyfriend he's got a good point! Plus, you're 19, I think we have all the time in the world.

**retweet 🔁     3 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@_ _riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **mione**_

THANK YOU!

**retweet 🔁      like** ♥

 

* * *

 

 **Harry Pooter** _@_ _scarhead_

Despite my boyfriend and best friends efforts, I'm still getting that tattoo Tom!

**retweet 🔁      like ♥**

  
**l**  
**Tom** _@_ _riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **scarhead**_ _..._

Ugh fine, at least show me first when you get it.

**retweet 🔁      like** ♥

 

 

* * *

 

 

**@** **scarhead** **→ @** **riddlemethis**

Harry: Tom Tom Tom

Harry: babe

Harry: HONEY

Tom: What is it???

Harry: look **[image.jpg]**

[The picture shows Harry's upper thigh, where a colourful tattoo resides. The thin font says "We're queer and we're here," in front of two hands doing a pinkie promise. The hands are wearing wristbands with an assortment of colors, which are most of the LGBT+ flags]

Tom: When they said "soon" I DIDN'T THINK THIS SOON.

Tom: IT'S ONLY BEEN A DAY I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE GOING NEXT WEEK.

Harry: You thought wrong ☺

Tom: 😑

Harry: DID YOU USE AN EMOJI SJKSJSKS

Tom: Shut up Harry

Harry: Make me 😏

Harry: Oh no wait, you're still in bloody CANADA so you can't do anything rn 🙄.

Tom: Was I supposed to feel bad?

Harry: We've been online dating for 2 years already and we still haven't met in person :(((

Tom: Harry...

Harry: I wanna cuddle with you and that huge duck plushy you sent me isn't doing much other than making me lonely :((

Harry: and I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT COST YOU 60 BUCKS STOP WASTING MONEY ON MEE

Tom: THAT DUCK REPRESENTS MY LOVE FOR YOU, THAT'S WHY IT'S HUGE.

Harry: i-

Harry: you actually said something with emotion??? With full caps???

Harry: did I die and this is the after life?

Harry: You actually lOve mE?

Tom: FaceTime me so I can say it to your face

Harry: oHmYgoD

 

 

Harry promptly buried his face in the huge duck plush and screamed, kicking his legs upwards as to not disturb his fresh tattoo.

He quicky grabbed his phone and FaceTime Tom. The latter quickly picked up and Harry shyly hid the lower half of his face in the duck.

"Hi..." He trailed off, mesmerized by Tom's appearance. Even though it was nearing 7am in Canada, Tom was promptly ready for the day, Harry couldn't even recall a time that he'd seen Tom with bed head!

"Hi love," Tom's baritone rung out and Harry inwardly melted. Even though he spent years in Canada his English accent didn't sway one bit. "I want you to know that I bloody fucking love you with all my heart and that when I'm done with my bachelor's this month I'm finding you, okay?"

Harry felt like he was going to cry. Tom never really showed much emotions other than when he speaks to Harry. Whenever he video calls Tom on his laptop, he sees that Tom only ever reacts differently to him. He acts so cold to Lestrange and Mulciber but so warmly to Harry.

It would've worried him if he hadn't found it so hot.

"I love you too Tom. God, if I could go to you, you would've had me by your doorstep already,"

Tom snuffled and smiled. "Abraxas wouldn't mind that. I'm just mad he met you in person before me,"

"Well, you weren't invited to the Malfoy Christmas party so hah!" Harry smiled at the thought of Draco's cousin. They had met the previous year when Abraxas visited for Christmas. It had been wonderful, Abraxas was a nice man, a bit touch-starved, and he gave really good hugs.

"I'll have you know that I was invited. They just wouldn't let me in the bloody plane because they feared I was carrying a strange illness! I had the flu!" Tom huffed, sitting down dramatically in what Harry seemed was a chair.

Harry chuckled, yeah, it was a missed opportunity that Tom wasn't able to come home for Christmas but it only made their first meeting sweeter right? "You were really sick, you kept blowing your nose every 5 minutes," he muttered.

"Anyway, do you like the tattoo? We had to wait for a long time because there was a lot of people getting pride tattoos," he sat up on his bed, the light filtering in from his half-closed blinds making thin lined shadows appear on Harry's skin. Tom thought he looked majestic, though he didn't voice it out loud.

He sighs, "I still think you haven't thought it through properly but it looks fantastic on you."

Harry smiles cheekily, if there's one thing that Harry knows that's Tom does not, is that Tom is _whipped_ for him.

"I make great haphazard decisions, right?"

Tom sighed again, looking exasperated but Harry knows that Tom agrees. Whenever Harry makes a not-so-sane decision it turns out to be brilliant.

One time, Harry impulsively bought a foot long dildo that was impressively thick and a shit ton of lube. Tom reprimanded him, saying that the thing would tear him in half because Harry wasn't really in the tall section.

But with a quick, sassy "What if I want it to tear me?" And a _lot_ of prepping, let's just say that the image will remain in Tom's mind for, preferably forever.

"Harry, Harry," Tom snaps his fingers, snapping him from his stupor. "You okay? You blanked out there for a minute,"

Harry was silent for a minute, before whimpering, "Mr. Riddle, I don't feel so good,"

"Oh Harry fuck off!" 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**Harry Pooter** _@scarhead_

I made an infinity war reference when I was talking to Tom today life's good

**retweet 🔁 like ♥**

  
**l**  
**🌙** _@lunabear_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead...**_

And I oop-

**retweet 🔁 like ♥**


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry Pooter** _@scarhead_

Y'all.... Draco is HUNG

**5 retweets 🔁 8 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Dragon** _@draconis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

HARRY WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU TELLING EVERYONE MY DICK SIZE.

**retweet 🔁 like ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _ & _**_@draconis_**...

Um explain this???

**retweet 🔁 like ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Hermione G. Owns my ass** _@ronniekins_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

Lmao you're screwed mate

**10 retweets 🔁 15 likes ♥**

 

 

 

 

 **I'm screwed** _@scarhead_

I think I made a big mistake if I die know that Tom Riddle has connections everywhere #prayformyass

**retweet 🔁 12 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Ginny not Ginevra** _@gingivitis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

HA GOOD LUCK HARRY

**5 retweets 🔁 10 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**Dean** _@dthomas_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

Can we get an F in chat for Harry?

**3 retweets 🔁 7 likes** ♥

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**Hermione G. owns my ass** _@ronniekins_

F

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Hermoine G** _@mione_

F

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Dragon** _@draconis_

F even though Abraxas is gonna yell my ear off abt why Tom is seething in anger

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**🌙** _@lunabear_

F

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**longest bottom ever** _@plantboi_

F

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Illiterate fuck** _@mochamiii_

F

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Regina Regina Regina** _@abrxas_

F, Harry Tom's literally red yOU BETTER DO SOMETHUNG ABOUT THISSSSS

Also: who's _**@mochamiii**_??

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Illiterate fuck** _@mochamiii_  
_replying to_ ** _@abrxas_** _..._

I'm Harry's online friend! I'm Elys, nice to meet you :D

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Regina Regina Regina** _@abrxas_  
_replying to_ ** _@mochamiii_** _..._

I'm Abraxas, Draco's better looking cousin

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Dragon** _@draconis_  
_replying to_ ** _@abrxas_** _..._

EXCUSE ME?????  
  
  


 

 **I'M REALLY FUCKING** **SCRE** **...** _@scarhead_

TOM'S CALLING ME I'M GONNA DIE SJSJWJJWJDEJW

**retweet 🔁 like ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**🗡🗡** 🗡 _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

ANSWER MY CALLS HARRY

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**FUCK OFF** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_** _..._

NO SJSJAOWFJZK  
  
  


 

 **Hermione G.** _@mione_

Harry has been offline for hours now I'm really worried

**retweet 🔁 5 likes** ♥

* * *

  
**l**  
**Dragon** _@draconis_  
_replying to_ ** _@mione_** _..._

Harry hasn't left his room yet I'll keep you all updated

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Hermione G.** _@mione_  
_replying to_ ** _@draconis_** _..._

Thank you Draco :)))  
  
  
  


 

 

 **Dragon** _@draconis_

Hour 3: Harry still hasn't come out of his room. It's quiet. I'm scared because Harry is always loud as balls in here.

**10 retweets 🔁 21 likes** ♥

* * *

  
**Dragon** _@draconis_

Hour 4: Still no signs of movement. My best guess is that Tom sent an assassin to kill Harry and his body is in there.

**8 retweets 🔁 17 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**Worried parent** _@draconis_

Hour 5: THERE'S MOANING. I REPEAT THERE'S MOANING GOD HELP ME.

**retweet 🔁 12 likes ♥**

> **Worried parent** _@draconis_
> 
> I THINK THEY'VE MADE UP OH GOD THE SOUNDS  
>   
>   
> 
> 
>  

**Not screwed anymore** _@scarhead_

I'm alive and I'm better than ever! :D

**retweet 🔁 like ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Hermione G.** _@mione_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

I'm??? Concerned??? You've been in your room for hours???

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Not screwed anymore** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@mione_**

I'm alright now Hermione! Me and Tom made up 😊

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Hermione G**. _@mione_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

I'm actually worried what did you and Tom do???

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Not screwed anymore** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@mione_** _..._

We talked it out and Tom forgave me when I promised that his dick was bigger than Draco's :D

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Dragon** _@draconis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_**

I'm offended???

 

* * *

 

 

 

 _ **A few hours earlier**_  

**@riddlemethis → @scarhead**

🗡🗡🗡: WHAT THE FUCK HARRY

FUCK OFF: I'M SORRY TOM

🗡🗡🗡: ANSWER MY CALL OR SO HELP ME I'M GOING TO FLY OVER TO EUROPE AND BEAT YOUR ASS

FUCK OFF: YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME

🗡🗡🗡: THAT IS VERY TRUE BUT FUCK YOU HARRY

FUCK OFF: I'M SORRYYY PLS DUN KILL MEH DKSIAJDK

🗡🗡🗡: ANSWER MY CALL AND I WON'T

FUCK OFF: ;(((((

* * *

 

"Okay Harry, explain yourself," Tom said as soon as Harry pressed the 'accept' button. He sounded downright pissed and Harry's heart was beating in anticipation.

"Okay so I accidently walked in on Draco and saw his prick," he explained in one breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for impact.

It was silent on the other end before "... That's it?"

Harry opened his eyes in shock, "Huh?"

"You made a big deal out of that? Harry it was an accident!"

He gave out a shocked laugh as he ran his hands through his hair. "Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad that you announced that you saw Draco's dick on social media but you're roommates, it's pretty normal to walk in on somebody. I'm surrounded by crummy football players who don't know when to close doors,"

Harry laughed, sitting down on his bed. "Would you forgive me if I said that your prick was positively bigger than Draco's?" He tried, voice going higher in pitch near the end.

Tom chucked, a deep baritone that rumbled warmth through Harry's chest. God, he yearned to hear it in person.

"Get your laptop ready. I will show you just how you can make me forgive you," he murmured and Harry melted in the inside.

Let's just say that a full hour with a remote controlled vibrator made Tom forgive Harry intently.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw my name's not actually Elys, it's my online name so y'all can refer to me by that! This also applies to SIWU so call me that on all my works! :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have many crack filled ideas for future chapters

**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_

First date, kinda scared **[image.jpg]**

[The picture shows Harry in a cafe, a man in front of him looking shy as he covered his face with his maroon turtleneck]

**retweet 🔁 12 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Hermione's property** _@ronniekins_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead**_ _..._

Oof who's that mate? Don't want Riddle finding out

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@ronniekins**_ _..._

That's Neville lmao I owed him lunch because he took my shift last night.

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Ginnyyyy** _@gingivitis_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead**_ _..._

Hmm wonder what was the reason 👀

**[10 likes ♥]**

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@gingivitis**_...

;)))))))

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead**_...

Neville gets to go on a date with you before I do?!

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@riddlemethis**_...

Tom.... Neville is the reason why we got together in the first place he deserves it.

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**It's an avocado thanks** _@plantboi_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead**_...

:D

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ _ **@plantboi**_...

Are- are you two tweeting at each other when you're literally right in front of the other?

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@riddlemethis**_..

:DDDD

* * *

 

 

 **Tom** _@riddlemethis_

I am running on 3 hours of sleep and I have never felt so refreshed in my life.

**5 retweets 🔁 9 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@riddlemethis**_..

Are- are you ok Tom?

* * *

 

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead**_..

No

 

* * *

 

**Calling: My Tommy Boi 👅💦💦...**

"Yes you've called 1-800-IMDEAD, this is Tom speaking," Tom droned.

Harry giggled, if Tom was answering the phone like this he was siriusly sleep deprived. "Babe are you really okay though? You never miss out on sleep,"

"First of all, never call me babe. Second of all, pardon my French, ironically because we speak French here, but graduation is up my ass and I would very much like to ship myself to Europe right fucking now," Tom groaned up.

Harry laughed, "Graduation is important  
_babe_."

"Honestly if I wasn't so delirious I would say fuck you-"

"You just did,"

"-but I'm honestly so tired as of right now you petite nuisance. So, I just want to tell you that when I'm done with this fucking school I'm swimming to England."

"I thought you didn't know how to swim?"

"I learned last summer. It was supposed to be a surprise so I can show you my achievement when I finally came but whoops! the secret's out!" Tom chuckled out.

"Tom," Harry whispered, looking at the time. "I feel like you should get some sleep, it's like 3am there and you haven't been getting sleep the night before,"

"But Harry," he whined. Yep, totally sleep deprived. "I'm almost done with my thesis, just a couple more paragraphs." He begged.

"God, fine! Finish your thesis but get your ass to bed after. What time does your first class start?"

"8:30," he muttered. Okay, he still had 5 hours to sleep because Tom was brilliantly fast and productive when doing his work. Harry bid him a goodluck and a multitude of reminders to sleep, making absurd kissing noises before he hung up.

Time zones aren't really the best in Harry's opinion. Granted, the difference between Tom's place and his was 5 hours but that was 5 hours too much. At least it isn't as drastic as Cedric and Cho's 8 hours with her studying abroad in Japan.

Harry doesn't know how they do it but they make it exceptionally well.

"Harry! Time to go!" Draco shouted from outside his room. He huffed and pocketed his phone, swinging his bag over his shoulder and exiting his room.

Draco tossed him his bag of lunch (which Harry caught effortlessly mind you) and the two descended from their apartment to Draco's car. It was still 8 in the morning but they liked to be early, or Draco likes to be early and Harry needs a ride.

9am classes, by far, are Harry's least favorite. Especially when it's Biological sciences with Professor Snape. Harry just wanted to be a veterinarian for Pete's sake! Believe me, Professor Snape is doing an absolutely wonderful job at being Draco's godfather but he's always been harder on Harry. He'd blame his father for this because Snape was a very petty man.

Draco turned on the radio and began driving. "The semester is almost over thank the Lord. By the way, Abraxas is coming back during the summer and staying for good."

Harry perked up. "Please tell me Tom is going with him."

Draco shrugged, "I'm not sure, Abraxas said that he was going to Wiltshire, not London." He turned a corner, sighing against the morning traffic.

Harry pursed his lips. Wiltshire was 2½ hours away from London, meaning that it was a long ass drive to get to their place. He sighed, leaning against the window. "I'm wondering why you didn't go to Canada with Abraxas."

Draco shot Harry a look.

"I mean I'm glad you're here. I love you, never leave me, I'm just curious is all"

"I actually almost went to Canada, but mother convinced him to let me stay. After all, I can't have you breaking your leg again." Draco rolled his eyes amusingly.

"Hey it wasn't!" Harry pouted.

"You broke your femur how is that not bad?!"

"I still managed to kick the ball into the goal so HAh!"

"Blaise nearly castrated you in the hospital!"

"It was worth it," Harry proudly exclaimed, closing his eyes.

Draco groaned in exasperation, during their arguing the traffic cleared up a bit and they started driving to their school again. Harry and his winning obsession really took place during any game, really. "You're going to give Tom a heart attack with how much you hurt yourself or your competitive nature,"

Harry hummed, looking through his phone before going on Twitter.

He snapped a picture of Draco and tweeted it.

 **Harry ♡** _@scarhead_

Look at dis dood **[image.jpg]**

**retweet 🔁 4 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_**...

D o o d  
  


"Oh my God!" Harry yelled. Draco jumped in his seat, the car swerving slightly.

"Harry don't go that!"

"Tom still isn't asleep! Oh he's gonna get it from me..." He continued muttering incoherently as he typed out a response.

 **l**  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_**.

G O  T O  S L E E P

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_**..

I  A M  A L M O S T  D O N E

 

Harry huffed and turned off his phone, seeing that they were parking at the campus already. "I swear to baby Jesus if he doesn't get some sleep I'm going to sic Abraxas on him."

Draco snorted, turning off the engine and getting out. Harry followed him and entered the enormous University campus. They still had a good 45 minutes until their class so they headed to their spot, a large table in the courtyard.

"Hey Harry, Draco!" Hermione waved as they approached. Ron was sprawled out on one of the benches, waving at Harry while upside down. Neville and Luna smiled at him, most likely waiting for their boyfriend Rolf who was always late somehow.

"Biology with Snape will be torture." Harry groaned, taking a seat next to Ron. Ron shifted, resting his head on Harry's lap.

"At least he isn't like Slughorn mate, remember that guy?" Ron shuddered. "Total creeper vibes that old tosser gave off,"

Harry scrunched up his nose at the mention of Slughorn, their old chemistry teacher back at Hogwarts. Their old boarding school in Scotland was amazing, except for Slughorn. The old man praised students on the Daily and invited them to special parties which nobody attended because it felt off. Harry wondered what was going through Headmaster Dippet's mind when he hired him.

"Nobody will be as bad as Slughorn but I have it worse, Snape is good friends with my _mum_." Harry emphasized. "His expectations with me are too high," he groaned.

"Just a couple weeks more Harry, then we're home free," Luna smiled gently. Harry smiled back automatically. There was just something mystical about Luna that just instantly made you feel better. Like coming home from a long journey to your bed.

"And then you can see your _boyfriend_ ," Neville smirked, making Harry groan, covering his heating cheeks with his hands.  
  


"Don't deny it Harry, you want his dick," Rolf proclaimed from behind him, making Harry yelp.

"Jesus Christ Rolf you scared the shite out of me," Harry sighed, clutching his chest.

Rolf cheekily smiled at him before sitting next to Luna and Neville, kissing them both on the cheek. Harry pouted, resting his head on a closed fist. "Why am I the only one lonely here?"

Hermione rubbed his back affectionately. "Don't worry Harry, Tom is coming back in a few weeks."

"And you're not the only one lonely here Harry. I'm single, we're lonely together until Tom comes back," Draco smiled, leaning over Ron to hug Harry.

Harry smiled at the affection. His friends really were the best.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_

Check out what I bought from Amazon.com!:

•Unisex-light-blue-unicorn-onesie-size-L

•9-inch-ribbed-vibrator-(purple)

•Metal-straws-set-of-5-(Rainbow)-case-included

•Waxing-kit-sensitive-skin

**retweet 🔁 17 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**An avocado! Thanks** _@plantboi_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _. . ._

At least he's helping the environment?

**[12 likes ♥]**

* * *

 

 

 

 **Harry ♡** _@scarhead_

How do ya unlink your Amazon from your Twitter?

**5 retweets 🔁 21 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #1** _@abrxas_  
_Replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

LMAOOOO

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #** _ **2**_ _@draconis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

I'm snorting so hard rn

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #2** _@draconis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

But I'm not touching your packages when they come

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Ginnyyyy** _@gingivitis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

9 inches huh 👀

* * *

 

**l**

**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@gingivitis_** _..._

You're just jealous that I can take more than you 😇

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Ginnyyyy** _@gingivitis_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

i-

* * *

 

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Smokin hot** _@blaiserod_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_** _..._

I just gasped so loud that my mum heard me... And she's in Italy.

**[13 likes ♥]**

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #1** _@abrxas_  
_replying to @scarhead..._

I'M CRYING SO HARD RN SHITEKAOFK

* * *

 

 

 

 **Tom** _@riddlemethis_

Why did I open Twitter to see people tagging me on a pic of a purple vibrator?

**7 retweets 🔁 15 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #1** _@abrxas_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_** _. . ._

You might want to check your boyfriend's latest tweets

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@abrxas_** _. . ._

WAIT A MINUTE-

* * *

 

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**A Rosy boi** _@e_rosier_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_** _. . ._

LMAOOO

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Rabastan** _@basty_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_**. . .

Tom Riddle you lucky lucky man

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@basty. . ._**

Make googly eyes at Harry and I'll cut your dick off

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Rodolphus** _@roodolph_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_** _. . ._

Oi u fockin wot mate? Hands off me baby brother

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Rabastan** _@basty_  
_replying to_ ** _@roodolph_**. . .

WE'RE T WINS

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**A Rosy boi** _@e_rosier_  
_replying to_ ** _@riddlemethis_** _. . ._

Does anyone find it weird that we're all literally in the same dorm but we're tweeting at each other???

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Rabastan** _@basty_  
_replying to_ ** _@e_rosier_**. . .

...no

* * *

 

 

 

 **An avocado! Thanks** _@plantboi_

My grandmother just chopped open a watermelon with her bare hands I'm scared

**3 retweets 🔁 15 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@plantboi_**. . .

R u okay?

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**An avocado! Thanks** _@plantboi_  
_replying to_ ** _@scarhead_**. . .

Oh yes I'm fine I just know that if I ever make my grandma mad she'll squish me like an ant.

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry ♡** _@scarhead_  
_replying to_ ** _@plantboi_**. . .

Point taken, Grandma Augusta is a scary woman 

* * *

 

In the middle of the week, the whole group sit at a table during lunch, continuing normal conversations. Mainly: Grandma Augusta's strength at 77 years old.

"So she just, ninja chopped it and it broke?" Ron asked curiously, shoving a few fries in his mouth afterwards. Hermione looked at his table manners disapprovingly.

Neville nodded, a slice of pizza in his hand. "She didn't want to take effort in cutting it so she just hit it." He took a bite of his veggie pizza, cringing at the memory.

"She scares the outright shite out of me," Rolf announced from his fruit salad. "When I went over she said that if I hurt Neville she would hunt me down and castrate me. She said she'd do it with her bare hands too," he shuddered.

"I think Grandma Augusta is lovely." Luna added serenely. Everyone at the table looked at her like she'd grown a second and possibly third head.

"That's because she loves you," Rolf complained, rolling his eyes. Luna simply smiled at him before digging in to her chicken. Harry just sighed, eating his burger as he was scrolling through his various Marvel AO3 fanfictions. Ah yes, a good ol' ironstrange fanfic to take the edge off.

"Mate, are you working this weekend?" Ron asked. He was a tad bit preoccupied with a pickle that has slipped off his burger. Harry nodded, going through various ships in the Marvel tag.

"Yeah, I'm working full shift on Saturday."

Ron groaned, "Are you free Sunday? I have to find a gift for Charlie after he got accepted into that lizard rehabilitation center."

"It's _reptiles_ Ron," Harry complained, page 3 in ironstrange fanfics.

"Who knows the difference?" Ron shrugged.

"Me. A veterinarian." Harry deadpanned.

"Me, a zoologist," Rolf raised his hand.

"Me, an animal nutritionist," Luna waved, smiling.

"Conservation scientist." Neville announced.

All heads turned to him in confusion. "Oh, I thought we were announcing our majors." He said embarrassed, quickly turning red and turning back to his salad.

Ron playfully rolled his eyes, turning to his lone pickle. He didn't mind what Neville said, it was normal for him.

And this, was how lunch usually went for them at London Uni.

 

* * *

 

True to his word, Draco didn't touch Harry's packages when they arrived. He didn't even bring them inside their apartment so when Harry got home after his Wednesday shift at the cafe bar he found five packages in front of their door. Thankfully, they were in a well-off area, so there were no thefts.

Stacking each package on top of each other precariously, he managed to open the door before lugging them in.

"Thanks for not getting my packages!" Harry yelled from the doorway. Draco, who was sitting on the sofa reading a book simply looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

"You're welcome!" He yelled back before going back to his book.

Harry huffed, rolling his eyes as he carried the boxes back to his room, setting them down on his bed. Sitting down at his desk, he started organizing his end of year essay for biology. At the beginning of the year, he wondered if it was a good idea to cram biology, chemistry, and animal sciences in the last semester and he was quicky reprimanding his younger self.

His poor, naive younger self.

He figured that if he went through Snape's class this year instead of chickening out until final year his future self will applaud him. Now, he realized that he really should've went for biology in his first year.

Damn you 18 year old Harry.

Harry tried not to think about the rest of the classes he needed to take _before_ going to veterinary school for four more years. God, the pay better be good if he was sacrificing 8 years of his precious youth.

What fun.

But maybe it's not all bad. Maybe him and Luna can open their own clinic and Rolf can bring in a fucking lion for them to check up on.

Harry's phone rang, distracting him from his impending doom. He answered it, smiling at the name that popped up.

"I sense distress," Tom announced.

"How the fuck do you know that Tom?" Harry laughed, leaning back into his chair.

"It's my 6th sense, sensing when my one true love is frustrated," he deadpanned. Harry snorted, nearly falling off the chair. Damn this man that Harry is so madly in love with.

"Aww. One true love?" Harry cooed. He wouldn't be Harry James fucking Potter if he wasn't a little shithead.

"Yes and what the _fuck_ Harry. I understand the vibrator but why the unicorn onesie?"

"What if I told you I had a unicorn kink, would you leave me?" Harry asked in the most serious voice he could manage.

"... No?"

Harry bursted out laughing.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shameless plug: please check out my other stories Safe is with Us and On the Edge!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets the in-laws

Harry was wiping tables at work when it happened.

It was a regular Saturday for him at work. Cleaning tables, refusing to give people alcohol because the bar wasn't open yet, the usual. He couldn't count how many times he had to turn people away because they couldn't understand that the bar opens at _eight_. Nonetheless, he loves his job. The place was so unusual but maybe that was why he loves it so much, or maybe it was because the owners are the best people ever but potato potahto.

The establishment was a nice cafe during day hours, mostly to tend to tired University students who needed a quick fix of cake or tea but when turned nighttime, the cafe turns into a comedy (or music, depends on the act performing that night) bar with good food and alcohol galore. Tired university students during the day and drunk University students during the night, business as usual.

Man, Fred and George made a good decision setting up the cafe in the heart of the metropolitan area near the University. But that wasn't the only reason why the place was so popular. A few years back, the twins invented this drink they called Firewhiskey which sent a surprisingly pleasant burn down the throat and Butterbeer, which only had a little bit of alcohol in it and was on the sweeter side. Though, it was mostly used to troll middle schoolers who come in with (obviously) fake ID's and ask for the "Good stuff".

After serving the umpteenth college student with one of their highly caffeinated coffees, Harry went to clean a newly vacated table. He smiled when there was a tip for him nestled in between the sugar packets. He graciously took the 5 Pound Sterling's and pocketed it in his front apron pocket. He honestly didn't have to work, —what with his family's old money and his father and mother in respectable jobs— but he wanted to learn how to be responsible and independent and get an actual job he loves.

Draco wanted to learn to be independent too, as he was a spoiled git when he was a child, and voiced his opinions to his parents. It went well surprisingly, but his parents, along with Harry's, were adamant about paying for their apartment and their bills until they got stable jobs. Draco went and got a job at a publishing company while Harry got hired by Fred and George.

Harry was wiping the table dry when he heard the unmistakable chime of the bell above the door, meaning that someone had just entered. He heard Neville choking a cough from behind the counter and he furrowed a brow, turning around to ask if he was okay. Before he asked however, he saw who had come in, a tall man and a shorter woman clinging to his arm.

Harry tucked the rag back into his front pockets before walking over to Neville. "Are you okay Neville?" He asked worriedly, not facing the couple yet. Neville nodded, patting Harry's back reassuringly.

"I'm sorry, but are you Harry Potter?" A feminine voice asked. Harry turned around and all breath left his lungs. In front of him was a woman with dull, lank hair with eerily familiar dark brown eyes in which one of them were curving slightly inward and a man with black curled hair and _very_ familiar facial features to a certain boy he knew.

Harry nodded dumbly, making the woman smile brightly. "You must be Tom's parents," he announced, internally kicking himself because _of course_ they were Tom's parents, he was a carbon copy of the man in front of him. But what were they doing in London instead of Hangleton? They lived a good two hours away.

"Oh Tom has been going off all about you Harry! He's the happiest we've seen him when he talks about you." Merope gushed, a happy glint in her eyes as she smushed Harry's cheeks together. Harry was internally laughing his ass off because this _wasn't_ how Tom described his mother. Tom described his mother as a timid and fragile woman but the woman currently cooing at him _wasn't_ that.

They heard a sigh as Tom's father pried Merope's dainty hands off of Harry's face. "I'm sorry about that, my wife can be a little, impulsive." Tom Sr. Cringed, making Harry laugh and wave it off.

"Well, I talk about Tom to my parents just as much as he does me," Harry smiled. Merope looked at him for a minute, seemingly assessing him. She knew Harry well enough because of Tom's constant drawls of him whenever he called home. He was an A+ in Merope and her husband's book so far.

Tom Sr.'s lips quirked up in a small smile. "Well, we must meet your parents some time soon." He said.

"Yes, the in-laws have to meet." Merope said bluntly making her husband snort and Harry turn red.

Harry nodded sheepishly, "Yes, I urm, will tell my parents that."

"Harry, let's talk while Tom gets our orders. I have many things to speak to you about." Merope announced, taking Harry by the arm and gesturing her husband to order whatever. Harry caught sight of the older Tom giving him a sorry glance before turning away.

Thankfully, the lunch swarm had ended hours ago, so there wasn't much people there. Harry and Merope sat across from each other at a table and the older woman clasped her hands together in front of her. Harry couldn't place it, but something akin to apprehension was building in his stomach.

"Harry, you are an amazing boyfriend to Tom these past two years." She started off, giving him a reassuring look with her eyes. "I just want to tell you that my husband and I have absolutely no problems if you too decide to advance your relationship further."

Harry relaxed, smiling gently. He had the parents approval hell yeah! But, he wished they had met in more special circumstances. He had planned to be with Tom when he met his parents but oh well, better now than never.

"But, if you hurt Tom, I have a very high degree in chemical engineering." She added, her voice having a hard edge to it, making Harry gulp, nodding his head frantically. Merope seemed happy at his reaction, her mouth curving into a catlike smile.

Tom Sr. Abruptly sat down in between them, breaking Merope out of her smile, unclasping her hands. She instead smiled gently at her husband before turning to Harry.

"Can I ask you something?" Harry questioned. Merope smiled reassuringly and gestured Harry to continue. "Um, well, what are you doing in London? Tom mentioned that you live a couple of hours from here."

"Oh, we had to attend to some business here in London. We also had to get some items when we fly out to junior's graduation." Tom explained. "You can come with us if you want?"

"Oh no I can't," Harry said, lips almost curling into a pout. "I'm too busy preparing for the end of the year. I wish I can go though, I would love to see Tom's face if I popped in." Now his lips turned into a full blown pout. Merope inwardly cooed, why was her future son in-law so cute?

"Well, if you want us to bring Tom something, just know that we're staying in London for a week." Tom Sr. Said gently. He remembers his son calling him late at night to inquire about a huge duck plushy and what he should name it. After five minutes of confused name giving his son ultimately named the damn thing Mr. Quackers.

"Is there anything else you want to ask us before we leave?" Merope asked. Her husband nodding along.

Harry seemed to contemplate for a moment before smiling deviously. Merope and Tom shared a look. Yup, definitely perfect for their son.

"Can we take a picture?"  
  


 

 

 **Harry ♡** _@_ _scarhead_

Met the in-laws today :] I think they like me better than their own son @riddlemethis

**[Image.jpg]**

**retweet 🔁 21 likes ♥**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Tom** _@_ _riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@_** ** _scarhead_** _. . ._

WHAT

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@_ _riddlemethis_  
_replying to_ ** _@_** ** _scarhead_**. . .

MY PARENTS MEET YOU BEFORE I DO???

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Blond bitch #1** _@_ _abrxas_  
_replying to_ ** _@_** ** _riddlemethis_** _._ . .

F

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all I finally figured out how to put links so pls click them : ]


	6. Chapter 6

"Dad stop!" Harry exclaimed, laughing as he swatted his father's hands away from his face. James refused, simply pinching his son's cheeks harder.

"James stop antagonizing our poor child!" Lily chastised as she zipped up her luggage. James pouted and argued that they weren't going to see Harry for a few weeks. You see, Harry's grandmother, Euphemia became sick a week ago and hasn't gotten better yet. James decided to go to British Columbia and take care of his mother. Lily was tagging along because she was an actual doctor and figured more professional help would be good.

Harry yelled as he finally pried James' hands off his cheeks. "I'll be fine, say hi to Grandma for me."

James sighed but patted Harry's head and nodded. "I can't believe I can't see my boy for two weeks!" He bemoaned.

Harry groaned, you'd think his mum would act like this but it's actually his dad that was the dramatic one. Harry helped his mum carry her bags as his father carried the rest of the luggage. Outside the house was Harry's godfathers, Sirius and Remus, who were going to take Lily and James to the airport.

"Welp I guess this is goodbye." James fake sniffed. The other four people rolled their eyes, Lily's being the most exaggerated.

"Okay Prongs, time to get in the car." Sirius said, maneuvering him into the back seat. Lily walked over and took Harry's head in her hands.

She quickly placed a kiss on his forehead and smiled. "We love you and we'll keep you posted on Grandma's condition okay?" Harry nodded and said that he loves them too before Lily entered the car as well.

"Don't worry Harry, we'll check on the house while you're at Uni." Remus reassured, which was a big relief because Harry didn't want to commute the whole 30 minutes from his apartment and back every other day.

But he was still going to take his cat, Hedwig back to the apartment with him. He didn't want to leave her behind in the first place but with him and Draco being out at the same time, he didn't want to neglect her.

Speaking of Hedwig, the white cat purred behind Harry as he waved off the retreating car. Harry looked down at the cat and carried her to his own car. Hedwig burrowed in the passenger seat while Harry fit all her equipment in the back seat. When he got back into the driver's seat, he scratched her head before starting the car and driving back to his apartment.

Once he carried Hedwig back into his apartment, Draco raised a brow. "You brought Hedwig?"

"Yeah, I can't exactly leave her with Sirius and Remus because Padfoot's there." Harry explained, thinking about his godfather's huge dog. Draco grimaced, knowing exactly how wild his first cousin's dog is.

Hedwig leaped off of Harry's shoulder and walked to Draco, climbing onto his shoulder. Draco startled, but relaxed when Hedwig started purring. "I might steal your cat Harry."

"Try and I'll shove a ferret in your arse."

 

 

 **Harry** ♥️ _@_ _scarhead_

My child is back into my care [picture of Hedwig curled on top of Draco's head]

**🔁 10** ♥️

* * *

 

**l**  
**🌙** _@_ _lunabear_  
_replying to_ ** _@_** ** _scarhead_**...

I didn't know you were Draco's father

* * *

  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥ _@_ _scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **lunabear**_...

Yeah I'm his daddy 😜

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #2** _@_ _draconis_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **scarhead**_...

Can you like,,,, die?

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@_ _scarhead_  
_replying to_ _ **@**_ _ **draconis**_ _..._

no u ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

* * *

 

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Blonde bitch #2** _@draconis_  
_replying to_ _ **@scarhead**_...

Die \\(ϋ)/♩

* * *

 

"James I can't believe we're had to stop over to Ontario." Lily complained at the waiting terminal.

Their airplane had to make a stop due to a particularly bad storm over the Atlantic. The turbulence was horrid and they have to check the airplane before they can continue to British Columbia. It will take a few hours to check if everything is properly working so all they had now was time.

James stretched out of his seat. "Lily, we should probably go and explore this province while we have the chance. The plane's not going anywhere for a few hours."

"But what if they ask us to go on another plane and we miss our flight?" Lily reasoned, hugging her purse tighter.

James shrugged. Money wasn't really a problem, clearly not boasting at all. His wife easily worries over the simplest of things it's almost laughable.

"Here here, get up." He gently pulled her out from her chair. "Let's go find a bakery and let's get you some chocolate cake!" He exclaimed with a cheery grin.

Lily took the bait, huffing but easily following him out of the airport, carrying her handbag with all her essentials in it. James pulled her along, weaving through the big crowd of people, finally reaching the entrance.

The couple gazed upon the parking lot and sighed. James started guiding them to the nearest exit and Lily laughed. "This is just like Hogwarts and we'd sneak out to Hogsmeade during school nights."

James smiled at the memory, the layout of the parking lot and trying to find the exit was a perfect example of their Hogwarts days.

Finally finding the exit of the parking lot, the two ventured into the unknown. Thankfully, all the signs were in English, given their limited skills in French (or lack thereof).

Some time after, they had stumbled upon a coffee shop near one of the local boarding schools. It looked like the perfect mix of professionalism and cosy -judging from what they saw from the window- something really unlikely to envision. Cool air met them as they entered, a comfortable feeling washing over them by seeing how calm the coffee shop was, save for the group of young men in the corner of the shop.

"Welcome to Wool's bakery and coffee shop!" A young woman greeted from the register. She had her brown hair up in a bun and her bangs barely covering her hazel eyes. "We have an assortment of pastries and cakes and of course, coffee."

"Do you guys have chocolate cake?" James asked while Lily surveyed the area.

"We have many different kinds of chocolate cakes, we can give you one of our menus and you can choose from there."

"Oh thank you." James continued talking as he scouted the menu, looking for that exact cake he knew that his wife would love.

"Well, if you're gonna do that, I'll get us a table." Lily informed, shrugging her bag further up her arm. James smiled at her and responded that he was going to find the best cake to get her. Lily rolled her eyes at her husbands antics and chose a spot near the window.

 

* * *

 

"Well boys, graduation is in three weeks, and then we're home free." Evan Rosier smiled as their group sat at a large table in Wool's coffee shop.

"We better be, I need to see my cat when I get home." Rabastan pouted, clutching his cup of latte. Rodolphus rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair.

"Mrs. Knickers is fine, she's still taking care of her kittens." Rodolphus said boredly.

"That's it!" Rodolphus exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table. The girl behind the register sighed, used to whatever happens with their group. "She had kittens while we're away! I should've been there for the birth!"

"I just still can't believe you named her Mrs. Knickers." Tom groaned, resting his forehead on his palm.

"We were 15 and joking. We didn't know that she'd like the name." Rabastan grumbled, quickly stuffing his face with an eclair.

"I bet Rodolphus is excited to graduate." Evan wiggled his eyebrows at the older twin. The rest of the table except for Rodolphus chuckled.

"I still can't believe you're marrying my aunt." Abraxas grimaced.

"Uh, your very _young_ aunt, who's only three years older than us, and who I _love_ very much." Rodolphus quickly defended.

"We're going to be related in a years time good god." Abraxas bemoaned burying his head in his arms.

Rodolphus shrugged, he had no issues being related to Abraxas by marriage. Rabastan however...

God, he can hear the screaming at 4am from a prank now.

"But I bet Tom is even more excited to graduate." Evan exclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows furiously. Tom groaned, copying Abraxas' actions and burying his head in his arms. Everyone else snorted and teased him about finally meeting Harry.

"I bet Harry is adorable, based on what Tom tells us." Rabastan smirked.

"He is! When I went back home for Christmas he brought over Mr. Quackers and wouldn't let it go for the whole stay at Malfoy Manor." Abraxas squealed. Tom glowered at Abraxas, the blonde rolling his eyes at Tom. "Don't look at me like that, Harry and I are practically related through my cousin Sirius so don't lose your head over this."

Still, Tom narrowed his eyes at Abraxas and the latter huffed, looking away from the dark haired boy. Abraxas chose to look at the rest of the coffee shop while sulking.

Abraxas blanched, seeing the person sitting by the windows. "Uh guys, I'll be right back. My intuition is yelling at me." The other boys looked at him confusedly but Abraxas was already leaving his chair.

Abraxas approached the woman on her phone and nodded in confirmation.

"Aunt Lily?"

Lily's head popped up and a smile graced her face. "Abraxas! I haven't seen you since Christmas!" She stood up from her chair and hugged him tightly. Abraxas chuckled, hugging her back.

The boys looked at them in confusion, all heads popping in different perspectives to try to see who it was. Abraxas caught Tom's eyes and smirked. "Tom's with us, do you want to meet him?"

Lily smirked back with equal intensity. "I do have to meet the son in-law before the wedding right?"

Abraxas laughed, guiding Lily to their table.

"Guys, this is my Godmother Lily." He informed. "And Tom," he smirked, "this is Harry's mum."

If Tom paled 5 shades lighter, nobody commented on it. He sputtered, which was a _lot_ coming from Tom Riddle as he stared at Lily baffled. Lily giggled at Tom as he finally stood up and walked over to her.

"Mrs. Potter," Tom started, shakily holding out his hand.

Lily looked at his hand and laughed. She hugged Tom instead, making the taller boy stutter. "I'm a hugger, Tom."

Tom let out a high-pitched nervous laugh as he gingerly hugged back. The boys at the table held their mouths, trying not to laugh out loud because Tom fucking Riddle was nervous.

Lily pulled away first, looking at her son's boyfriend with simmering eyes. "Harry has been going all about you these past two years."

Tom sheepishly smiled, making the other boys eyes bulge out. They have only witnessed Tom being absolutely done with them or terrifyingly happy, but not _embarrassed_. Abraxas glared at the other boys, flapping his arms wildly to snap them out of their stupor.

"Well, good things I hope." He smiled nervously. He watched as a smile took over Lily's face and patted Tom's arm in a reassuring way.

"Don't be nervous when talking to me Tom." She informed, making Tom's shoulders sag in relief. "Be nervous when talking to my husband." Tom paled.

"Oh Lily darling!"

Tom paled further.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumblr now! @mochamiii


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka: where I express my love for Cavetown and Dodie
> 
> Aka: I FUCKING LOVE THEM ALONG WITH CHLOE MORIONDO MY ASS IS QUAKING

**Tom** _@riddlemethis_

I am the favorite now **_@scarhead_**

**[image.jpg]**

**5 🔃 16 ❤️**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Harry** ❤️ _@scarhead_  
replying to **_@riddlemethis_**

... What the FUCK  
  
  


 **Harry** ❤️ _@scarhead_

 ** _@riddlemethis_** ♥️

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!😭👋 ██]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... ████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... ███████]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... ███████████] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 💯True💯 Daddies are irreplaceable 💖I could never delete you Daddy!💖 Send this to ten other 👪Daddies👪 who give you 💦cummies💦 Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you 🚫🚫👿 3 back: you're squishy☁️💦 5 back: you're daddy's kitten😽👼💦 10+ back: Daddy

**5 🔃 16 ❤️**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

Hey Harry, what the FUCK

**[6 ♥️]**

**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_  
replying to _**@riddlemethis**_

¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
replying to _**@scarhead**_

I fucking hate you

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_  
replying to **_@riddlemethis_**

Love you too dearest 😘  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 **Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_

 ** _@CAVETOWN @DodleOddle_** my mother and father I love you two so much please have my children jsuajyoskr

**18 🔃   31♥️**

* * *

  
**l**  
**Draco** _@draconis_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

MOOD OML

 **l**  
**l**  
**(☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞** _@mochamiii_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

Not to be horny on main but,,,, same  
  
  


 **Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_

I- I just want to be cuddled. Can someone give me cuddles?

**5 🔃 12** ♥️

* * *

  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

 ** _@draconis_** don't you fucking dare

 **l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_

 ** _@draconis_** I know you had that crush on Harry 👀

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Draco** _@draconis_  
replying to **_@scarhead_** & **_@riddlemethis_**

WHAT- WHO TOLD YOU

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
replying to **_@scarhead_** & **_@draconis_**

**_@abrxas_ **

**l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**I'm out** 🚶🏼‍♂️ _@abrxas_  
replying to **_@riddlemethis_**

FUCKING TRAITOR

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Draco** _@draconis_  
replying to **_@abrxas_**

HE'S THE TRAITOR?!

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Draco** _@draconis_  
replying to _**@abrxas**_

YOU'RE THE TRAITOR YOU BLONDE RAT

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_  
replying to _**@draconis**_

You had a crush on me???

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**I'm out** 🚶🏼‍♂️ _@abrxas_  
replying to **_@draconis_**

FUCK YOU TOO YOU LITTLE WEASEL

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Draco** _@draconis_  
replying to _**@abrxas**_

IT'S A FERRET GET IT RIGHT YOU BLONDE BIMBO

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_  
replying to **_@draconis_**

You're- you're both blonde???

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**I'm out** 🚶🏼‍♂️ _@abrxas_  
replying to **_@draconis_**

FUCK YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT  
  
  
  


 **Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_

Can someone give me cuddles the other thread is still fighting

**🔃 11♥️**

* * *

  
**l**  
**🌙** _@lunabear_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

I'll come Harry!

 **l**  
**l**  
**Neville Papperman** _@plantboi_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

Me too!

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Scamander not salamander** _@animalboi_  
replying to _**@scarhead**_

I'm coming too because Luna's my ride!  
  
  


 **Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_

 ** _@lunabear @plantboi @animalboi_** I love you three

🔃 **9** ♥️

* * *

>   
>  l  
>  🌙 **@lunabear**  
>  _re_ _plying to_ _ **@scarhead**_

Join our poly squad Harry!

 **l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_  
replying to **_@lunabear_**

Sorry but if I was in a poly relationship I would choose Tom and Abraxas

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_   
replying to **_@scarhead_**

Ex-fucking-scuse me?

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Harry** ♥️ _@scarhead_  
replying to **_@riddlemethis_**

What he gives good hugs

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**Tom** _@riddlemethis_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

... Touché

 **l**  
**l**  
**l**  
**I'm out** 🚶🏼‍♂️ _@abrxas_  
replying to **_@scarhead_**

... I'm touched??  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps if you read this and you also read Safe is with Us, it might take a few more days until I can update it because I need to prepare for school and I'm feeling very unmotivated rn 😩

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for commenting/kudos! I appreciate you 💗
> 
> Check out my other stories!
> 
> [Safe Is With Us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18336218)
> 
> [On the Edge](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19311733)


End file.
